An Adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut's Rules for Writing.

Kurt Vonnegut is one of my favorite writers. In Bagombo Snuff Box, he gives some advice about writing, in the form of eight rules. Although he intends the rules to apply to fiction writers, I find that much of it is relevant, with some modification, to philosophical writing. I find this sort of thing helpful, anyways, and maybe you will, too.

1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.

This applies to us in a straightforward manner, with one caveat: philosophers are entitled to assume that the stranger is a total nerd with bizarre views about what would count as a waste of time.

2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.

Give the reader at least one view he or she can identify with. Then explain why he or she should reject that view and adopt yours.

3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.

I don't know how this would apply to what we do.

4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.

Here I substitute "explain the view or advance the argument."

5. Start as close to the end as possible.

This carries over without modification.

6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.

No matter how plausible and obvious your view, subject it to brutal attack—in order that the reader may see what it is made of.

7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.

Hmm. He paints a picture, doesn't he?

8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.

I find this one very helpful. I have a tendency to try to build suspense and reader interest by not showing my cards until the very end of the paper. As a result, nobody can tell what I'm up to and everybody gets confused. It works better to be entirely up front about what you're doing. You can save the details for later, but the reader should know right away that this is your preferred view or solution to the problem. The rest of the paper should be devoted to explaining why you like it, not building up to a big reveal at the end.

--Mr. Zero