philosophysmoker-Mstarz

I've received a handful of competent PFOs over the years. Here are a couple of examples. The first is from Pitt:

Dear [Mr. Zero],

I am sorry to inform you that the Junior Appointments Committee has decided not to pursue your candidacy further at this point. We received nearly two hundred responses to our advertisement, including a great many from highly talented and accomplished applicants. Obviously there are many different considerations on which our decisions are based, and I hope you will appreciate that I cannot go into specifics about individual cases. We will keep your dossier on file until next year, when we shall probably be advertising a junior position again.

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your credentials, and let me wish you the best of luck in your job search.

Sincerely yours,
John McDowell

Or this one, from UChicago, which I received in the spring of '08:

Thank you very much for your application to our advertised position. After a long and careful process, I regret to say that we are not furthering your candidacy. I wish you the very best in your further endeavors, and look forward to many years as colleagues in our common profession.

"Yours very warmly, ...

In comments here, Zombie mentions another, from UDelaware, that isn't bad:

Dear applicant,

Thank you very much for applying for the position of assistant professor of philosophy at the University of Delaware. I am sorry to have to tell you that we are only able to interview twelve of the four hundred candidates who applied and you were not among those selected.

I hope you will excuse the impersonal nature of this email and accept our best wishes for success in your search of a suitable position.
Sincerely,
___________
Search Committee Chair

--Mr. Zero

I just got a nice PFO, which reads:

Dear applicant,

The [...] search committee has narrowed down the finalists. We received over one hundred applications for this position. The selection process was very competitive. Unfortunately, your application was not among them.

We wish you the best in your academic endeavors,

Sincerely,

[some guy]

This is truly wonderful. My application was not among them. What was it not among? The competitive selection process? That doesn't make sense. The one hundred applications? No, it was; otherwise I wouldn't be receiving this PFO. The finalists. Yes. So you have to go three sentences back to find the antecedent for this pronoun. Nice writing.

And, naturally, this situation is something that has just happened to us. They didn't do anything, or anything. They were just sitting around, looking at the piles, and they noticed that my application was not among the finalists. And this is something they regard as unfortunate. That's good, at least.

--Mr. Zero

With due deference to the old venture, we begin this year's round of rejections.

From Filosofer PhD, the story of their first PFO:

I am excited to report that I have received my first official rejection letter of the season. (From a summer ad, not a fall ad.) Kudos to this institution for informing me promptly that I'm not on their shortlist, but shame on them for the passive voice:

While you were not placed on the shortlist it was our experience that a good number of the applicants were clearly academics with the training and ability to satisfy the professional requirements we had for the position.

What I really like here is the phrase "a good number of the applicants were clearly academics." Well, that's good, I guess! Of course, they didn't tell me whether I myself was among those who are clearly academics, but I'm going to console myself with the thought that I probably was.

In this spirit, my first PFO (which didn't even mention whether I am an academic or not; should I be concerned?!?!):

I am very sorry to have to tell you that your application has been unsuccessful. We received an overwhelming response to the advertisement with 160 applications received; an incredibly high number were exceptional applications and the selection process has not been easy.

I should like to take this opportunity to thank you for your interest in this vacancy and to wish you well in the future.

Well, at least they're equal opportunity with the use of their passive voice [Update: As pointed out, I'm wrong about the passive voice being used in my PFO; oops. Still...only inanimate objects seem responsible.] . Almost makes me think no applicants or selection committees had any role at all in this process: just applications and ghostly selection processes.

Though, I'll take those well-wishes any day. I need them.

-- Jaded Dissertator